Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts

Friday, November 23, 2012

Significant Others.


很多年了,突然之間,原來已經過了很多年了。我們好像改變了很多,又好像,甚麼都沒有改變。有些根深蒂固的品性,始終,牢不可破。

她說,在這個時候,想起的人,竟然是我。我沒有感動,也沒有驚訝。我們已是陌路人了,彼此各不相干,而我們之間,已經沒有「我們之間」。我不知道她要的是甚麼。雖然,我一早已經原諒她了,但就算和好,也不能如初,我不能若無其事的,讓她再一次走進我重獲的新生命裡來。我祝福她。雖然她的事情我都是聽來的,但知道她日子過得快樂,我是由衷的,為她感到高興。沒想到她的世界一時之間崩塌下來,我亦無話可說。

對於喜歡過的那些人和事,我沒有再跟任何人提起,彷彿由始至終不曾存在,但我都,沒法好好的忘掉。那不是留戀,不是執著,不是「他們」本身了,那已成為,我自己不可分割的一部分,是我的說話,我的喜好,我的情緒,是我日裡的沉思,我夜晚造的夢。

呼吸。

昨晚,相聚以後,一個人步向地下鐵,我累,但不睏。我心裡還在難過,比平時少話,只靜靜的呷著熱薑綠茶,聽他們說。平日的呼吸咖啡店,深夜,人不多,我們圍坐木桌,一時沉默下來,我聽見陳綺貞的音樂,「你知道嗎/聽你說話/我只需要聽你說話/在你的聲音中/安全的讓我害怕」,讓我稍稍得到一些,除相聚以外,微不足道的安慰。

他考上飛機師了,我非常,非常替他高興。我希望有一天,能坐上他駕駛的飛機,在半空看窗外白雲。旅行也好回家也好,那一定是最親切的一次旅途。這一圈朋友,在我生命裡佔很特別的地位。像一幅莫奈的畫,他們是背後柔和的天色,是那燦爛的陽光。我一直向前走,某程度上,是因為他們沒有停下來。

Sunday, November 11, 2012

營露記。

昨夜在帳篷裡,她說著情事,到盡處,已是半夜。我們說,睡了吧,便在風中雨中閉上眼睛睡去了。帳外秋風四面八方來,整夜蕭蕭不歇,每次驚醒過來,都以為天要塌了。偶有雨,帳裡聽著,雨聲如彈,一下一下的打進心頭。外邊雖是風雨飄搖,帳裡卻是溫暖的。睡中不記得醒了多少遍,但因無夢,一覺醒來,竟比平日精神抖擻。

七時的陽光淺淺淡淡的,我悄悄爬起來,把瓶裡的清水喝光,然後繼續躺著,聽外頭細碎的人語。郊外的清早,空氣潔如新,摻著草香,牛糞的鄉土味。我獨自散步。是一個多麼好,多麼好的星期天啊。

Friday, December 16, 2011

情亦然

班上,有一位女孩子,她的名字,叫情亦然。

漂亮的十五歲,慧黠的眼睛,清秀的臉孔,烏黑的短髮,束著小馬尾,坐在課室近門口第一排的最後。講課的時候,她總是右手拿著筆,抬起頭,眼睛一直看著我,等待我以目光相投。

她用黑色的墨水筆寫字,字裡行間,有一種不妥協的方向。跟班上其他女孩子一樣,她善良,純真,但她的眼神有一種堅定,她的個性多了一份讓人銘記的鮮明感。

我相信香港沒有第二個女孩子,有同樣的名字。情亦然。真實的寫法與此不同(不然未免太浪漫了),但屬同音字,唸起上來,不錯是情亦然。

天下間所有故事,不都由一情字為始?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Mid-Autumn Festival

Spent Mid-Autumn Festival with an old friend who lives nearby. It's nice having a neighbor. It makes you feel less solitary living in a suburban home.

We walked to the central park. It was overcrowded with families, friend circles and couples. I was very much impressed especially when I thought about the last time I went to a park and celebrated the festival with candles and paper lanterns, and I could not remember at all. I can't even remember what I did last year. Festivals started to lose its meanings for me since I-don't-know-when and instead of anticipation I felt dreary.

But last night was different. It was delightful to see what the people were doing just for the night, and the energy around was more than enough to excite you inside. They were all well-prepared, very much so. They sat on newspapers or bamboo mats spread on the lawn; some even had tents or shelters to settle in (!). There was a sea of candles and it was quite a sight to behold.

We were both pretty tired so we didn't talk that much but that's alright. Forced conversations are lousy. I'd rather nothing is said. And I like it when someone walks me home.