Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Delusions

They'd start by telling you how different you are from others they know, complimenting how extraordinary you are in various aspects of your being, and conclude on how compatible you'd be together, how you'd complete a life like a missing puzzle retrieved.

Delusions. 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Monday, June 16, 2014

六月。

又一年六月。夏天,你和我。

the last book.


I want it to be the last book I read before departure. 

It is, you know, in many sense too heavy for me to carry abroad. But I'll bring One Hundred Years of Solitude with me and keep it close so that I could always revisit the little goldfishes, the fluttering yellow butterflies, the melancholic whores and the feverish town of Macondo wherever I go. 

Speaking of Macondo, my imagination of it comes very close to Trinidad in Cuba, which I'm heading to in a few weeks' time. The first instant I saw its pictures online I was certain the town resembled somewhere I knew. And it's Macondo, unmistakably Macondo, which is like a secret hometown of mine that never existed in time.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

regret.


“If I knew that today would be the last time I’d see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul. If I knew that this would be the last time you pass through this door, I’d embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more. If I knew that this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I’d take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again. If I knew this is the last time I see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you know it already.” 

― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez
One Hundred Years of Solitude.


a lost dream redeemed.

It was an ordinary summer's night when subtropical heat was overabundant and calmness insufficient. When morning came there was nothing she could do to shake off the dreams she had overnight. Some dreams slipped away, some didn't. And these were the ones that remained. 

Whether she had dreamed of him or it was actually he who had sleepwalked into her subconsciousness she did not know. It troubled her all the same because she was a dreamer who knew too well that dreams were a dangerous signal, in extreme circumstances an irrevocable prophecy. They foresaw things that were invisible.

She had three dreams.

In the first one he kissed her.

The second one came along not as a sequel but a distracted stream of time that wiped itself out. The second dream was so unimportant that the instant it came into being it was consumed by absolute forgetfulness.

Her conscious self from the first dream was well-preserved in the third one. It was as if she had survived the distance of a lifetime and had eventually retrieved her lost self. But it was not enough. It was a lost dream that she had to retrieve, a dream in which they both existed.

It was wonderful how a dream could allow a setting, a consciousness, and above all a feeling with such complexity. She was sleeping, her mind at rest, but in fact she was adrift in a realm of unbridled mental wilderness (if not madness) which rendered everything restless (if not reckless).

She kept walking and walking around the neighbourhood to look for him. The streets were steep and narrow and the buildings looked like blocks of torn paper with stains that stayed forever. She didn't recognise the place but somehow she understood it was the east side of the island. On her left hand side she saw the harbour that separated thousands of lovers. 

And there he was.

yellow raincoats.

they were to meet at the cinema when it rained. people passed them by like shadows, with faces that she didn't remember. in fact she didn't remember anything except the yellow raincoats which must have come all the way from her childhood, now a piece of memory as estranged as a midsummer hallucination. 

she had been waiting for him. as soon as he arrived he brought the rain, rain that commenced as drizzles as light as dreams, and intensified whenever she looked at him, until water permeated into her skin and gave her a false sensation of love. 

everything faded away with the first ray of morning light that traveled through her window and woke her up. almost everything, except the brightness of the yellow raincoats, the touch of the rain on her skin and the residues of his face.

honestly.

maybe i hang around here
a little more than i should
we both know i got somewhere else to go
but i got something to tell you
that i never thought i would
but i believe you really ought to know.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

有一句,沒一句。

Sunday, April 6, 2014

"Every voice has its own melody. But together in harmony."

Nymphomaniac

“When he died, I had no feeling left."

Saturday, April 5, 2014

如果你很想很想做一件事情,那全世界的力量就會合起來幫助你。

Sunday, March 23, 2014

星期天,睡覺天。

Saturday, March 22, 2014

星期六

一整天躺在床上,甚麼都不想思考,甚麼都不想做。世間的紛擾,可不可以停在門外,讓我好好的休息,對也好錯也好,我只想靜靜的,我甚麼都不管了。

浪費

其實我們都希望會有人珍惜。珍惜你的關心,珍惜你的等待,你的時間,珍惜你一個短訊,珍惜你的快樂。當一切都變得理所當然,便是一切崩潰敗壞之時。

夢中人。

昨晚造了一個夢,我在旅途上,跟朋友一起,在一個清新的小鎮,遇上一個愛我的人。樸實的臉、黑短髮、白襯衫。他手織了兩束玫瑰花,一束紅,一束綠,送來讓我挑。我要了紅色那束,說了謝謝,心裡感動得不可言喻。後來我記得有水、有沙丘、晴天、安靜的鎮,鎮上沒太多人。我到哪他都陪我去,在他身邊有一種安全的感覺。然後天亮了,夢結束了,他也消失了。

Sunday, March 16, 2014

舖租升 森記圖書堅持撐住

【本報訊】小書店在香港買少見少,北角森記圖書公司在港島扎根30多年,既是愛書者尋寶地,也是流浪貓的安樂窩。書店近日被業主加租一倍,店主陳小姐堅持「撐住」,因深信書本是通向智慧之匙。她早前於店外張貼德國達豪集中營入口處一位詩人的警世名言:「當一個政權開始燒書的時候,若不加以阻止,它的下一步就要燒人;當一個政權開始禁言的時候,若不加以阻止,它的下一步就要滅口!」盼帶出書本對人類社會的重要性。
走入森記圖書,放眼望去,除了密密麻麻的書架,還有20多隻貓兒。森記面積不大,藏書量卻達1.5萬本。業主近日加租一倍,店主陳小姐說感突然,但未影響與業主關係,「其實業主都好好,10幾年嚟都未加過租,雖然(經營)可能辛苦啲,但我一直有個信念,從來無諗過有一日會唔做,幾辛苦都會捱落去」。面臨加租,她擱置原來請兼職及加薪的計劃,「雖然經營困難,但我好想話畀人聽讀書好重要,唔可以一日無書」。
令陳小姐堅持下去的還有與客人的感情。她稱,曾有客人與她分享教導小孩的生活,指小孩不及上一代刻苦耐勞,「我即刻諗起可以介紹佢個小朋友睇《29張當票》,一個當舖老闆通過29個故事,講以前啲人幾辛苦都要求生存,睇吓可唔可以幫到佢啦,如果可以幫到就好有意義」。
書店另一特色是這裏是流浪貓的家,其中一隻貓女「康康」去年初被抱走,雖最終返回書店,但體重已減半。陳小姐透露,康康近日情況轉壞,「佢就嚟唔得,得番皮包骨,日日對住康康就好似睇住消逝中嘅生命」。

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/news/art/20140316/18658238

念/無常

念/無常



【明報專訊】又一個震動人心的消息。作家韓麗珠在臉書如此起首寫﹕「March comes in like a lion.」突如其來的死訊,叫很多人念記起,那個朝氣勃勃的好時代,尤其在港視開台處處撞牆路路不通的當下。

很多人未必認識她,但讀過她,由細細個,散落這裏那裏的文字,或者讀她主編的雜誌,在那青澀的美好年華,一切如此充滿朝氣,黎堅惠,志氣飽滿,華采招搖,向心所嚮往的追尋進發。人們呼她時尚女王,但她不止於時尚,還有生活和處世的哲學,點滴滋養。黃念欣在網誌說她的時裝散文有「穿透繁華背後的世故」。作詞的黃偉文說,《奇洛李維斯回信》就是黎堅惠終於收到麥當娜回信的故事。十年多前的歲末當梅豔芳過身,早有人提過我,黎堅惠的論文題目,就是研究麥當娜,提議我去找她約稿,那次她推掉了,她忙。

伍珮瑩說阿離太年輕,不懂無常。(「生活達人」)也許,我們都以為懂。不過是來回往復的短途航班,竟忽然人間消失。常念無常。黎堅惠,一路好走。

黎佩芬

http://news.mingpao.com/20140316/uza1.htm

Saturday, March 15, 2014

口的形狀

週末早上,肚子一路痛著。睡了好久好久。醒來以後混沌一片,窗外還是陰的,沒半點晴的希望。聽林宥嘉的音樂,煮了米線,泡一杯洋甘菊茶。

他來香港開演唱會,名字叫「口的形狀」,四月二十六日,我回港第二天。可是想不到會跟我去的人,那就作罷。我在去年三四月期間一直在聽他的歌,他的聲音陪我經歷一段短暫的過去。最後我應該是有哭吧,哭了以後就放下了。沒甚麼是放不下的。過去過去,反正過了,就去了。而今回想,竟像一件遙遠得像無法想像的事情。其實不過一年不夠。我善忘嗎?也許吧,可是也是善忘,讓我平復了很多不安的情緒,讓我原諒自己也原諒別人,讓我離開一片破碎,重新開始。

我最喜歡林宥嘉的「伯樂」、「想自由」、「你是我的眼」,可以一整天週而復始的聽。他的樣子像我一個好朋友,尤其小的嘴巴。演唱會後他去當兵一年,今天報章登了一篇他的訪問,他說:「我很常聽歌,覺得聽歌真的很像一個出口,可能最近發生了甚麼事情,我覺得有一首歌的歌詞很像我,就會一直重複聽它。」

就這樣。